I went back and re-read some of my blog posts from a couple of years ago. There used to be a boy that I’d obsess over, analyzing every encounter with him and second guessing myself. He was important to me, and I think he liked that. We fought and we played our endless loop of drama and misery. It finally ended about two years ago and we haven’t talked to each other since then. I thought it would be raw forever, but after re-reading those posts, I realized that I felt…nothing. No happiness, sadness, anger. Nothing. It’s not like I’m numb, but I just don’t feel it anymore. I feel liberated. I think it’s a good sign because it shows that I’m moving on and maturing. Maybe I wouldn’t feel like this if I didn’t have a man in my life now, one that’s beyond important to me, but the fact of the matter is that I do.
After all of the years of fighting and drama, I really only have one thing left to say about it and I’ll never speak of him again. Actually, Stars can say it better than I can.
There’s one thing I want to say so I’ll be brave.
You were what I wanted, I gave what I gave.
I’m not sorry I met you, I’m not sorry it’s over, I’m not sorry there’s nothing to save.
I’m not sorry there’s nothing to save.
That’s it. Have a good life. I hope you’re happy.