Oh dear, more quotes.

Me: I have an urge to ask you what your big thing is right now……Hmm, that came out quite wrong.
Mike: I don’t have one.

Me: I love Bash. I get the CPSC references though, that’s about it.
Mike: I get them all. MWAHAHAHA.
Me: …You’re a nerd though.
Mike: Am I? Or am I…a….not nerd?
Me: …I think that sentence answers your question.

Me: I wish I could punch someone and not break my thumb.
Mike: Did you break your thumb bunching someone?
Me: Bunching someone? No I’m a good buncher. Not a good puncher though.

Me: Hey, if there’s a zombie outbreak and I turn into a zombie, you
have to kill me because Mike says he wouldn’t have the heart to.
Fan: …I’d do it in a heartbeat.
Me: I know! And I’d do the same for you! WE are good friends.
Fan: Totally.

Me: "Yo I to the O, gotta dip." WTF does that mean?!
Nancy: It means a weak grasp on the English language?

Fan: Dude. This is why you don’t make of my English.
Me: ….READ. THAT. AGAIN. OH MY GOD.
Fan: WHAT DID I JUST SAY?
Me: I DON’T KNOW I COULDN’T UNDERSTAND IT!
Fan: I’M GOING TO MOTHERFUCKING SHOOT YOUR ASS.

Fan: I’m confused.
Me: That’s not new.
Fan: Please unconfuse me.
Me: That would take the rest of my life.

Fan: They buffed priests hella.
Me: What the crap is that?
Fan: Blizzard didn’t feel that priests dying in the first 5 seconds of
an arena match was very fair so they…increased our survivability.
Me: Oh so "buffed priests hella" is your uneducated and poorly spoken way of saying that.
Fan: …I hate you.

Nancy: This semester is kind of a bummer.
Me: This LIFE is kind of a bummer.
Nancy: lol! FOL!

Mke: I am here to amuse you til Boner calls, might go check out some tennis rackets.
Me: Nice, I get amusement til Boner time…..HOLY FUCK THAT CAME OUT WRONG.
Mike: LOL. You get even more amusement after that. 😉

Mike: Got a frozen pizza and I hate those because they have <=2 toppings. So I put extra toppings on it always.

Me: You’re using….math….symbols..

.to describe pizza. *sigh*
Mike: FUCK! Oh my god. And imagine after I’ve finished my discrete math course…..god help us all.

Me: If someone used the word "fortnight" in casual conversation, how would you react?
Mike: Turn right around and punch them.

Me: DUDE MY STATUS REFUSES TO CHANGE. HOLD ON BRB.
Mike: Apparently so does your Caps lock.

Me: You’re fucking with me now, aren’t you?
Mike: Unfortunately not.
Me: ……Perv.

Me: *poke*
Mike: Why you poke me!!!
Me: I ❤ you?
Mike: Ah, I get it, the poking is a sign of affection.
Me: Some poking is………FUCK IT. JUST FUCK IT!
Mike: I agree.
Me: SHUT UP

Fan: Wow…I jumped off a cliff, but I forgot I had no light feathers
so I couldn’t levitate…and I fell to my death. (Light feather is a
reagent for levitate spell). If I’m a mage IRL, that’s probably how I
will die.
Me: You’ll jump off a cliff forgetting you can’t fly?
Fan: NO! I -know- I can fly, I would just forget that I didn’t buy any reagents to fly.

(Cheryl mumbles something.)
Me: Did you just say "my pancakes"?
Cheryl: No! You would hear that.
Me: Then what did you say?
Cheryl: I said "point in case".
(I start laughing.)
Me: I think you mean "case in point".
Cheryl: Oh. Well, that too.

Me: I think I need to read less Harry Potter. I keep having Harry Potter related dreams.
Fan: What would happen if Harry Potter had a six pack?
Me: Is this some sort of riddle?
Fan: Only if Tom were involved.

Me: Then either ask the TA or just suck it up and single space.
Fan: I’ll proceed with the sucking.
Me: …….Excellent.

Cheryl: Man, you know after they kill everyone, they’re running that shit.

Me: GRR ARGH THE LIBRARY’S DATABASE IS DOWN
Fan: OH THE HORROR

Me: I think I need a new boy, but math classes are NOT the place to find them.

Mike: Drunken angels working on probability problems.

Matt: Billboard in Abbotsford: "Choose life. Your mom did." If I lived in Abbotsford, I’d wish she hadn’t.

Me: SO many socially awkward people. Hating it.
Nancy: Don’t be hatin’ on the socially awkward. Story of my life.
Me: Would you go on a reality show where a country could watch every move of your socially awkward life?
Nancy: Hells no. I wouldn’t even want me to watch it.

Me: I will beat you senseless. I don’t cry.
Fan: Coming from the girl who tears up watching Harry Potter.

Me: I love pears, my favourite fruit.
Mike: I love them! And they look so cute.

Mike: Some people see dead people. I see computer defects.

Me: When I hear of people disappearing, I think of vampires sometimes. That’s not normal.

Mike: Actually wait, Wed is good anytime. It’s not a gym day.
Me: What are the gym days? Just so I know.
Mike: Days in which I’m in the gym. I go in the afternoons usually 2-4.
Me: ……
Mike: Which means I gotta get home, shower, eat, etc.
Me: *rubs temples*
Mike: So it takes up quite a bit of time. Why?
Me: THE DAYS OF THE WEEK EINSTEIN.
Mike: Oh. LOL. SHUT UP

Mike: You should be happy that if you’re getting ditched, it’s for
something constructive such as banishing Diablo’s minions back to the
depths of hell.
Me: ……Whoo…..
Mike: SOMEONE NEEDS TO SAVE THE WORLD FROM ZOMBIES AND GHOSTS

Mike: Let me gather these last few seeds in WoW. Then I’ll read it.
Me: Oh god.
Mike: Acorns really.
Me: Oh, that makes it better.

Me: Okay, go back to acorn picking.
Mike: Finished already. The druid already planted new trees with them.
Me: "So what do you do on WoW?"
"I pick acorns, sometimes flowers."
Mike: Plant trees. I tailor dresses.
Me: "Plant trees. Basically I’m just a glorified gardener. Sometimes I’m a seamstress."
Mike: Sometimes it’s pants.
Me: So basically, you’re a GIRL.
Mike: No way, I’m Bleakstare, the level 20 orc shaman. I ride a motha-fucking wolf. That’s how badass I am.
Me: You also pick acorns and plant trees and tailor clothes. GIRL.
Mike: All to level up so I can kill some alliance scum for the horde!
Me: Does the horde know you’re a girl?
Mike: The night elves are encroaching on our lands, we have to massacre the invaders by planting trees that will block them.
Me: Or you’ll run away screaming….like girls?

Mike: Now I have to summon a water spirit to learn how to harness the magical power of water.
Me: Don’t get your blouse wet.
Mike: Excuse me, it’s a tribal kilt, not a blouse.
Me: ………You’re wearing a skirt? OH CHRIST THIS GETS BETTER AND BETTER

Mike: Excellent my reputation with the steamwheedle cartel has improved.
Me: Is it because you flashed them?
Mike: NO. It is because I reported to them the attack from the night elves.
Me: Did your skirt fall down around your ankles while you were doing it?
Mike: Kilt. And no it did not since my shaman is a MAN. Well, an orc, but regardless, he has a penis.
Me: You mean he LIKES penis.

Mike: He’s the biggest douche on the planet when he’s drunk.
Me: He’s a pretty big douche when he’s not drunk too.

Me: 26+18 = 44?
Mike: In base 10?
Me: ………..I think Comp Sci has had a bad influence on you.

Me: I hate text speak.
Mike: Tat is how I talk. Tat instead of that pisses me off.
Me: Do people say that?! Oh god, I weep for our generation.
Mike: I feel like smashing my face into my keyboard repeatedly when I hear it.

Mike: I am slightly amused right now. Don’t care if that makes me an a-hole.
Me: Me too. We are so going to hell.

Me: Whatcha doing?
Mike: Coding and eating grapes and yoghurt. Sometimes I spell it
yoghurt, sometimes yogurt. I like to mix it up. Adds spice to my life.
Me: Your life is sad.
Mike: I know.

Me: I assume your reading has been put on the backburner.
Mike: …I’m not even finishing my reading for English. Imagine reading for fun.

Mike: If MSN facilitated symbolic logic, I’d be all over that shit.
Me: Really? Oh……thank God for small favors.

Me: Daddy, a 50 year old man, is watching Hannah Montana, a show made for 15 year old girls.

Me: I’m tres thirsty.
Mike: Drink something!
Me: Oh is that what people do when they’re thirsty?
Mike: Usually. They may also eat something containing high water content.
Me: …………Do you just ignore my sarcasm now?
Mike: Do you ignore mine?

Mike: NO SHIT MIKE WORKING ON IT. MIKE YOU MORON. Fun fact: the WoW character I’m playing now is called Moron.
Me: Really? ……….Or would my WoW character be called Gullible? 😦

Mike: I just looked up douchebag on Youtube.
Me: Oh really, did a picture of you come up?
Mike: NO!
Me: Picture of Vic?

Mike: I sound retarded, nerdy, and talking bullshit.
Me: So just like normal then?

Mike: Cats are sexy.

Mike: So what time do you gotta be at in the morning?
Me: Mike your sentence doesn’t make sense.
Mike: Be there at then.
Me: ………Still doesn’t.

Me: He didn’t have to….it was a booby prize. So he gambled and lost.
Mike: Hehehehehe, booby.
Me: Wow. How old are you again?
Mike: LOL. HAHAHAHAHA. I wanted to see your reaction.

Me: You know, you should thank me for forcing myself on you in 12th grade and making you talk to me everyday. You’re welcome.

Me: I don’t like to brag, but I’m pretty fantastic. Everyone should wanna talk to me.
Mike: Aw, arrogance. How cute. You’re learning from the best.

Me: I don’t care what anyone says. PMS is real.
Mike: Yeah, it is. I’d know. 😛
Me: Oh no, do you PMS too?
Mike: SHUT UP.

Me: Totally.
Mike: Tolly. If you say it like those retarded teenage blone girls say it. "amagawd, like, tolly"
Me: What are blone girls? Maybe YOU’RE a teenage blone girl today, huh?

Me: I love burning you.
Mike: no u
Me: Good one Mike. You sure are a master of conversation.

Me: Ewa has swine flu.
Cheryl: Ewa has swine flu? I knew it.
Me: How did you know?
Cheryl: Because she’s dating a Mexican and that’s where the swine flu came from.

Nancy: 4 mins to Mark’s New Year.
Me: Actually….his was 2 hours ago.
Nancy: Ah shit! FML. WOW. My subtracting skills BLOW!

Me: I wish I had a personal robot.

Me: I had half a glass of Coke.
Branka: You had acid, grass and coke?! WHAT?!

Chris: It seems to be about that time.
Me: About the time when your brain shuts down and you realize that if
you have to stare at your computer screen for one more second, you’re
going to punch someone?
Chris: Yup, about that time.

Chris: You’ve brought the devil into this office.
Me: I’ve brought some light into this office. You’ve never had as much
fun as when I got here. All that time with only you as company? Please!
James must have wanted to kill himself every day.

Mike: I’m in love with this weather. 🙂
Me: Because I’m a bitch I’ll tell you it’s raining tomorrow.

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