Further Quotes

Nick: I need to fill the empty void that is my life with something.  Money is a decent solution for now.
Me: I fill it with sugar….and narcotizing myself with work.
Nick: I’ve cut both of those things out of my life almost.  I’m the only person at my work who doesn’t smoke weed.
Me: …
Nick: Erm. I thought you typed "narcotizing myself at work". Sorry.

Me: My thing for Friday got moved up to Thursday.  So do you still want to meet at Langara?
Cheryl: Can I let you know when my mom gets home?
Me: No…I need to know now otherwise I’m not going to be your friend anymore.
Cheryl: Well, what can I say.  We had a good run.

Fan: Dude, if I were your dad I’d probably have like 15 failsafe plans just because…well….you’re you.

Victor: "Leges sine moribus vanae".  They’re all in French.
Me: …..That’s Latin dude.
Victor: Whoa.  Holy shit.

Me: *MSN girl hug*
Nancy: *MSN boy hug*  I am a boy.  I was going to say "and you are brown" and then realized I was an idiot.
Me: LOL!  Well, not an idiot, just Captain Obvious.

Me: I’m doing Stats, because I am just that lame. 
Matt: Nothing lame about that.  At least you take the Stats class. You could be doing Stats for the fun of it.  That would be lame.

Me: I just sprayed air freshener the wrong way and now I have air freshener on my clothes.
Fan: Good job. One step closer to becoming a true blonde.

Me: How’s Chem going?
Nancy: It makes me angry for the most part, but you know, gotta do it.
Me: Isn’t that most of our work?
Nancy: Most of my LIFE.

Me: Okay, speak in Celsius, you fricking American!

Cheryl: I don’t know, I hear a little bitterment!

Me: You sound like a person on Grey’s Anatomy that repeat everything repeatedly!

Fan: For a moment there, I thought I was gonna get a velocity greater than the speed of light.  That’d be hella wrong.
Me: HEY MY VELOCITY WAS 3X THE SPEED OF LIGHT.
Fan: You’re a rebel.  It’s like…generally accepted you can’t go faster than the speed of light, but YOU SHOWED THEM.

Me: Why is it worth so much?
Nancy: Because they’re tools.

Me: You’re doing Anthro, aren’t you?
Nancy: Yeah, and it’s very boring and dissatisfying.
Me: Like our lives in general?
Nancy: Basically.

Me: Whatcha doing?
Cheryl: Waiting for the angel of death.
Me: That is so morbid………count me in.

Me: Cheryl told me Pop Opera was overpriced and stupid…..maybe Cheryl’s overpriced and stupid.

Zack Treisman: I think there’s just some math that should be done in the privacy of your own home.

Me (to Branka) : Fine, you might be pale and ice cold like the vampires in Twilight, but it’s not like you have any of the other qualities.  You’re not supernaturally fast.
Ana: No……quite the opposite, in fact.

Me: I’m not lying to them and saying you left the country.  You’ll show up one day and they’ll be like…"How was….New Zealand?"
Cheryl: But you know that you can leave the country and come back, right?  They’re called planes.  How do you think I left the country in the first place?

Fan: I can explain how planes work if you want.
Me: I’d rather be eaten alive by the scarab beetles in The Mummy.

Me: You know what the crappy thing about reading an e-book is?  The punctuation is always off.  It rages me.
Fan: Oh no.  Whatever shall we do?

Fan: I think I still need to give Edith 20 bucks. 
Me: Pay her for putting up with you? I’d need more money.

Me: Man, I’ve read 5 books this week.
Fan: You deserve a medal.
Me: Can you kill the sarcasm, you douche?

Fan: This guy talking about him is dissing all the other WoW stars.
Me: Why?
Fan: WoW nerds deserve to be dissed.
Me: Why?
Fan: They talk a lot of shit.
Me: Why?
Fan: They play an online game.
Me: Why?
Fan: DUDE
Me: SO worth it. 😀

(On boxing day)
Fan: Oh yeah, happy birthday.
Me: ….Um….my birthday is on the….31st.
Fan: That’s New Year’s Eve.
Me: …Um…yes.
Fan: Wow.  Your birthday is on New Year’s Eve?
Me: …..Yes….and it has been for all my life.
Fan: I see.  Hey, um…what happens if….the year ends on December 30th (is that possible)?
Me….No, Fan.  December always has 31 days.

Me: That would be like me asking, what happens if July only has 27 days?
Fan: Dude, then I won’t have my birthday.

Fan: I thought a month has to have at least 28 days, so I’m safe.
Me. Fan, ONE month has 28 days.  ONE. JUST ONE.
Fan: ….Which one is that?
Me: Holy shit, you’re fucking with me now, aren’t you?

Fan: Dude, you haven’t seen me apply Physics to relationships yet.  And I don’t think you’d want me to.
Me: Probably not.
Fan: Too much for you to handle.
Me: Yeah, I may die from boredom.

Fan: I offer you my condolences.
Me:  I’m surprised you can spell condolences.
Fan: I hate you so much.

Me: Holy Jesus, this schedule is like an OCD person’s wet dream.

Me: What’s the closest library to CPSC?
Fan: The one…in…the medical place.
Me: Very descriptive, thanks.
Fan: Thanks, I try.

Cheryl: If you had to fake a relationship, it would probably be with Fan just due to circumstance.
Me: Who would you fake it with?
Cheryl: Thanks, that sounds great.

Nireesha: Shit – take mushrooms? What the hell are shit – take mushrooms?!

Cheryl: Oh, that’s not the door.
Me: What did you do, walk into the closet?
Cheryl: No, the window.

Me: Oh no, if you come live with me, you’ll miss your hole!
Cheryl: Oh don’t worry, we’ll make a new one.

Fan: "I have a song stuck in my head." First thing she says.
Me: Tell herself to shoot herself in the head and it’ll be gone.
Fan: DUDE. THAT WAS HORRIBLE. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? But okay, I’ll tell her.

Me: I adore him. Only societal bounds will keep me from tackling him if ever I meet him.
Cheryl: Screw societal bounds. I have no shame.
Me: No, but you will have a restraining order.

Fan: Where do they serve fondue?
Me: I dunno, fondue parties?
Fan: …
Me: If you’re gonna ask me ridiculous questions, you’re gonna get ridiculous answers Fan.

Fan: It’s like Christmas, your birthday, and the second coming of Jesus all combined into one day…Staedtler Day.

Fan: I can teach Calc too…I just choose not to. And math.
Me: DUDE YOU CAN’T ADD.
Fan: DUDE…Yeah okay.

Me: I want a yellow, orange and green highlighter.
Fan: I want my love for you to be highlighted.
Me: …
Fan: Okay, that was kinda lame.

Fan: If I was in a math contest with Isaac Newton I think I’d lose.
Me: …Maybe you shouldn’t talk after 11 pm.
Fan: DUDE. I THINK IT’S BECAUSE I CAN’T ADD. EVEN WITH MODERN CALCULUS I CAN’T BEAT A GUY IN MATH A FEW HUNDRED YEARS AGO.
Me: You can’t add or speak?
Fan: Yeah.
Me: Great, you’re gonna fail at life.

Mike: They needed me back on WoW. Sigh.
Me: But you were hiding! HOW DID THEY KNOW?!
Mike: I was hiding and Sam must have known I was hiding. My fault, I answered. LOL EPIC FAIL.
Me: Dude, learn to hide. You must have sucked at Hide and Seek…someone went "MIKE" and you went "WHAT?"

Mike: Evil. You may as well have a tail and devil horns. Hmm…that would be hot.
Me: DUDE.
Mike. Pun unintended.

Me: How was the drive back?
Mike: I just ate a donut AND ice cream. That’s going straight to my thighs.
Me: Which is an excellent response to my question.

Mike: Better than donut + ice cream…straight to my thighs.
Me: I know you’re trying to be funny, but dude, you just sound like a girl.
Mike: Well I kinda do feel bad about it. Since I eat a lot now, I’m
supposed to make sure that in that "lot" I’m not getting empty calories
etc.
Me: I kinda wanna call you a girl again.
Mike: DUDE. I HATE YOU.

Mike: You’re a bitch today.
Me: I’m a bitch everyday!

Cheryl: I remember when we were in elementary school and we heard gunshots, we all used to hit the floor.
Me: Wait, what?! Say that again!
Cheryl: I have to go…

Mike: Btw, I promise I’ll get it this week. I have to make promises
since I NEVER break promises. So now I’m forced to. Seriously, hold me
to it.
Me: Promise me you’ll read it, not that you’ll get it.
Mike: Oh no, I’m promising that I’ll get it this week. That’s the biggest obstacle right now.

Mike: If Brock was real, he’d be an emo cutter and closet homo. No joke.
Me: But he had a crush on Misty.
Mike: Faking it. One bad breakup and that kid would have turned gay. Trust me.
Me: Oh I do. When it comes to Pokemon, I’d never doubt you.

Mike: I know that calf comment sounded weird, but no, I’m not gay…nor am I mentally unstable.
Me: Are you sure?
Mike: About which one? I mean……yeah.

Me: I have…a problem.
Fan: You sound surprised.
Me: You sound like a douche.

Mike: Seriously. Steak vs. sex, steak wins by so far.
Me: Okay, I think you might change your mind about that.
Mike: NO!
Me: You just think that because you’re hungry! If you were horny…
Mike: I’M BOTH. BUT THE HUNGER IS WINNING OUT.

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